How PTSD turns a luxury into a nightmare
“I must stop remembering… The more I remember, the greater my agony. These thoughts stuttered in my mind… I must be more watchful, I told myself. I must shut them out. I couldn’t always keep this up.”― Sonali Deraniyagala
After hitting publish on yesterday’s post I found myself unable to sit still. My anxiety had me feeling like I was climbing out of my skin. So uncomfortable.
I took the dog and went on a walk.
Not my normal, gentle, hey-I’m-living-in-a-disabled-body kinda walk — this was a WALK. You know, at a…
Writing through a PTSD & depression flair-up
“It’s a war within yourself that never goes away.” — unknown
I’m not ok.
I haven’t been ok for a while now. In truth, it’s been getting steadily worse.
I think it all started when my body over-reacted to getting the first Covid vaccine shot back in mid-March. My system reacted as though it had been exposed to gluten for nearly four weeks. That means four weeks of extra fatigue, pain, and best-of-all, endless diarrhea — yep, multiple times a day for over 22 days.
It wasn’t fun.
My gut is slowly healing…
A word after a word after a word is power.” — Margaret Atwood
Today I learned that Jellyfish are named after you, and I fell in love with jellyfish for the first time.
I wonder, did she turn your beautiful hair into snakes as punishment to cause other’s to fear you and thus abandon you, or more to cause you to live in fear from them thereafter?…
I wonder, did he even just for one second allow the truth of his violation against you, his destruction of you, to come into the forefront of…
Healing really can happen
“‘I think no more of taking a wife than I do of buying a cow,’ was one of Heber Kimball’s delicate remarks. made from the stand in the Tabernacle to a congregation of several thousand. Most of his hearers thought even less of it, for they would have had to pay money for the cow; and as for the other, he had only to throw his handkerchief to some girl, and she would pick it up and follow him. - Ann-Eliza Snow
I grew up in a very, very conservative religion — like a Young Earth…
An exercise in clarity
I stand for Kindness, because it matters.
I stand for Honesty, because without trust we’ve got nothing but fear.
I stand for Love, it really does make the world go round.
I stand for Inclusion, because, as the Rev. Jesse Jackson said, “When everyone is included, everyone wins.”
I stand for Intuitive Living, because we all hold Truth deep within our cells.
I stand for Spiritual Action AND Connection, because thoughts and beliefs without action are empty half-formed things.
I stand for Owning & Telling Our Stories, because our stories matter and, as Anne Lamott so…
And why timing matters
“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” -Louise L. Hay
Loving ourselves while living in a culture focused on tearing us down, is a sacred and sometimes scary act of devotion. The healing journey towards completely unconditional self-love is a lifelong one. It never ends, it is, indeed, a practice.
How you speak to yourself matters — often more than any outside voice you hear throughout your daily adult life. Our inner voices are shaped by our child and young adulthood. The first voices…
I tend to write in coffee shops… because if I’m at home, I get distracted by the television or the cats or my husband, or… you know — all of those things that make it easy to procrastinate. — Cassandra Clare
I used to get so much focused writing and creating done at coffee shops and I’m sure I will again one day, once we’ve conquered Covid. Until then, I will continue doing all of my writing, scheduling, researching, planning, and creating here in my home office. …
You deserve freedom from the stuckness of shame
“Shame is that warm feeling that washes over us, making us feel small, flawed, and never good enough.” — Brené Brown
Experiencing sexual assault is one of the most traumatic experiences possible. No matter the age, gender, religious or political beliefs of the victim. This is because being sexually assaulted is a direct violation of who we are — it is the most physically intimate violation we survive. It can leave victims feeling helpless, hopeless, powerless, and, worst of all, full of shame.
I was raped in September of 2013.