Both my husband and myself has said things like this to ourselves many times throughout our relationship. It really does help to keep us focused on the here and now, while acknowledging that the past… - Katherine Grace - Medium

Years ago I had a patient who put a stickie note on her computer to remind herself that Joe, her boss, was not her abusive father. I’ve used this strategy since then to help many couples trapped by their attachment styles. I teach them, at moments of stress, to either chant a phrase like “Fred is not the enemy” or to imagine a similar message stamped on their partner’s forehead.

Is It Time to Detach from Attachment Theory?

John Kruse MD, PhD

Katherine Grace

Oct 3, 2021

Both my husband and myself has said things like this to ourselves many times throughout our relationship. It really does help to keep us focused on the here and now, while acknowledging that the past is intruding.

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