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Ignoring the Cruel Voices in My Head
An open letter to a fellow sister in recovery…
Frankly, I am mean to myself. Really mean. Almost abusive. If you heard what I said to myself, you’d tell me to knock it off. — Jessica Hillis
Dear Jessica,
I so feel you here!
I’ve still got tons left to heal from and let go myself BUT one thing I have for sure learned this past year is that I’ve got to stop trying to make the voices stop — they aren’t my voices, I cannot control them anyway.
What has been working well for me recently has been to simply let the voices be — without arguing with them or believing them.
Like, a voice will say to me something like, “You’re worthless, you should just stop trying.” … In the past I would have tried arguing with that, telling myself that I do have worth, that my efforts for worth-while, etc. etc. etc.
But the voices did not stop.
Through a lot of internal healing and work with my therapist, I’m coming to accept that the voices may be part of my life for the rest of my life — that I cannot control them.
I may not be able to control them, but I am learning how to co-exist with them.
