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Why You Deserve Freedom From Shame After A Sexual Assault Now
TW // sexual violence
“Shame is that warm feeling that washes over us, making us feel small, flawed, and never good enough.” — Brené Brown
Experiencing sexual assault is one of the most traumatic experiences possible. No matter the age, gender, religious or political beliefs of the victim. This is because being sexually assaulted is a direct violation of who we are — it is the most physically intimate violation we survive. It can leave victims feeling helpless, hopeless, powerless, and, worst of all, full of shame.
I was raped in September of 2013.
The first few months after it happened, I was in deep unconscious denial about what had happened, telling myself things like, “it wasn’t violent enough to count as rape”, “I went on that trip with him willingly”, and “i didn’t fight hard enough/at all” (for years I “forgot” how I’d begged him to stop, my brain’s way of trying to protect me from my trauma)…
The irony of those first few months of conscious denial is that I was writing poetry about sexual assault and self-harming.
When I came across and read those poems again a couple of years ago I was shocked — I don’t remember writing any of them yet they clearly spelled out what I had experienced. I shared some of them…
